Belief; An Affirmation for Those Who Have Lost

This statement was written by James E. Miller. I came across it in a packet of statements from Hospice Sabbath. I found it very profound and have used it in the context of Bereavement services for our hospice, as well as at Memorial Services for our patients. I want to share it here with you as well.

" I believe there is no denying it: It hurts to lose.
It hurts to lose a cherished relationship with another,
or a significant part of one's own self.
It can hurt to lose that which has united one with the past,
or that which has beckoned one into the future.
It is painful to feel diminished or abandoned,
to be left behind or left alone.
Yet I believe there is more to losing than just the hurt and the pain.
For there are other experiences that loss can call forth.
I believe courage often appears,
However quietly it is expressed
However easily it goes unnoticed by others;
The courage to be strong enough to surrender,
The fortitude to be firm enough to be flexible.
I believe a time of loss can be a time of learning unlike any other,
And that it can teach some of life's most valuable lessons.


In act of losing there is something to be found.
In the act of letting go, there is something to be grasped.
In the act of saying "goodbye" there is a "hello" to be heard.
For I believe living with loss is about beginnings as well as endings.
And grieving is a matter of life more than death.
And growing is a matter of mind and heart and soul more than of body.
And loving is a matter of eternity more than of time.
Finally, I believe in the promising paradoxes of loss.


In the midst of darkness, there can come great Light.
At the bottom of despair, there can appear a great Hope.
And deep within lonliness, there can dwell a great Love.
I believe these things because others have shown the way-
Others who have lost and have then grown through their losing.
Others who have suffered and then found new meaning.
So I know I am not alone; I am accompanied, day after night, night after day.


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I hope this statement brings you blessing and comfort, for those of you who may be experiencing a loss of a loved one. I first read this shortly after my brother's sudden death at the age of 46. That was 7 years ago now, and I miss him terribly still, but hopefully, I can take what I have learned out of my own grief process, and pass on the comfort that I have received.