A Tribute to Ted Kennedy

I have been unusually touched by the life and death of Ted Kennedy. I was especially moved by the funeral mass that was said for him, and the tributes that were made by President Obama as well as his children. In the days between his death and the funeral mass, there were many documentaries, and past interviews that he had given in years past. But suddenly, like a quilt that suddenly had all the pieces, I was getting a clear picture of what guided Ted Kennedy's life.

The first key came from his mother's lesson to her children, that reminded the Kennedy children, that although they were born into privilege, it didn't mean that they should just sit back and enjoy. She recited a Bible verse, "To whom much is given, much will be expected." And when you look at the Kennedy family as a whole, you have a past President of the United States, Senators, Congressional reps, an ambassador or two, the founder of Special Olympics, Governors, Authors, Journalists, and the list goes on. This family has a clear understanding that if you are a Kennedy, your life had better make a difference! And they have made a difference. Ted Kennedy brought forth and into fruition more bills to help the poor than any other Senator in US history. It was his guiding principal in life. To help the less fortunate; not to make himself feel better, but because he had been blessed with abundance, and he therefore had an obligation to use his abundance to help those who were in need. He spoke for the voiceless, he used his power and influence for the powerless. It is quite the contrast to so many of the wealthy now who have a sense of entitlement. It is quite the contrast from the Bernie Madoff's of the world who can intentionally steal whole life savings and investments from innocent people, in order to add another mansion, more luxury cars, and jewels, etc. and think nothing of it.

So, what is the difference between the Kennedy's who are privileged but see it as a responsibility to pay forward, or give back, and those who are just guided by their greed? And for the Kennedy's I would say it was their Roman Catholic Faith. The Roman Catholic Church, for all their faults have long had a commitment to caring for the poor. For all the faults of Ted Kennedy, Chappaquiddick included, he was a man of faith. He often went to the church alone to pray, not just when he was at the end of his life, but whenever he had a challenge in Senate, or needed courage, or dealt with hardship in his life like two children with cancer, the loss of two brothers to a violent death, etc.

So, while he made mistakes in his life, we all have. He also did more good for those in this country because of his commitment to the poor. He took on the calling of his family that he had a responsibility to those less fortunate than him. But he also had a faith that guided him and gave him strength throughout his life, and caused him to do so much good that was long lasting.

So as I remember his life, I will place more emphasis on the good that he did, as opposed to the mistakes he made. I will put more emphasis on the redemption he experienced in his life and proved in his actions than I will on the actions that caused him to need redemption. I would hope that others would look at my life and see my mistakes as paling in comparison to the accomplishments, and see the ways that I attempted to give to others, and show compassion, more than the times I was less than giving or compassionate.

So, rest in peace, Teddy, and I pray for comfort and peace for your wife and family. But you did make a huge difference in this life and I thank you for that.

" The Shack" by Wm Paul Young

I just finished reading "The Shack" last night, and found it to be a very profound book. Normally, I am not into the fad type books, but so many people who I respect had read it, that I thought I would give it a try as well. I have to say that I was deeply moved by the story.

It begins with two tragedies in a man's life, and "the great sadness" that he carries because of it. It becomes an encounter with the living God as he is trying to make sense of this "great sadness." He is lured, invited, to "The Shack", which is one sense is the place where his pain begins, but in this place is where he has his encounter with God, who comes in surprising ways. "Papa" as God refers to her/himself, is an African American Woman. Jesus, is a middle eastern man and a carpenter, and the Holy Spirit, "Saraya" is an Asian woman. Over the many pages, Mack, the main character of the book, learns about himself, about God, and is able to enter into a deep conversation. In that conversation Mack deals with his own independence (sin), judgement, forgiveness, but most of all, learns about the God who loves him just as he is, and doesn't want him to be "religious", but to be in relationship. The enounter leads Mack to confront his own pain, his own questions, and his own mistakes, in such a way as he is transformed in a life changing way.

The wonderful part of the story, at least for me, was I found myself laughing, tearing up, nodding my head in affirmation, saying "WOW! That is so true!" or "Been there done that!" It left me with a very strong desire to re-examine my own spiritual life, my own tendency to live in judgements of my own, apart from God, or in self sufficiency.

It seems that some have had difficulty with seeing the Trinity as anything other than the very traditional Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But in my own experience, when I have been transformed the most, it has been in times when God was revealed to me in surprising and unexpected ways, so I had no problem with the story's way of revealing The Trinity. Besides, which one of us really has the Trinity figured out? Not many.

One of the biggest invitations that The Shack offers refers to how we deal with the painful circumstances in our lives. We all have the choice to either be angry and alienated from God, or to find God in deeper ways, as we go to the place of our pain, and find that God is indeed there. This was the challenge for Mack. It is the challenge for us as well. Mack found that as he went to the Shack, he found God. He found that he was able to enter into a conversation that was very honest, where he could question God, express his anger, and be met with an explanation. Did God remove the pain or change the circumstances of how the pain began? No. But Mack was changed by the relationship he developed with God, and thus the way he looked at his life was transformed. Most of all, he knew that he was never alone, and that the "Great Sadness" was not caused by his sin, but by the fact that we live in a world that wants to be independent of God's love and ways for us to live.

If you haven't read it, I encourage you to do so. It brought me to laughter, tears, saying "WOW" and truly re-examining my own relationship with God, and my own tendencies toward independence of self sufficiency. So I encourage anyone to read it, and see where it takes you.

Pro Life?

Today in the news, it was reported about Dr. Tiller, in Kansas, who was gunned down in his church Sunday morning while passing out bulletins for the congregation. And why was he gunned down in his church? Because he is a family practice Dr. who performs abortions. Whether or not someone agrees with abortion or not, I am trying to wrap my mind around someone who is an activist for pro life issues, and yet finds it ok to commit murder. What does it mean when one says they are pro life? One would think that it would be all the way around the issue, and yet so often those who are activists for pro life, really mean anti abortion, because they simultaneously will support the death penalty, and often are strong supporters of the military. So, to say they are pro life, is really a misnomer. If their belief is to not take the life of an innocent life, then, what about the innocents of Iraq and Afghanistan? Are their lives not as important as the fetus that is aborted? What about those who are on death row unjustly? Are their lives not as important? So what makes someone who says they are pro life, claim that for only one portion of life, and not all? I find it blatantly inconsistent,hypocritical, and I would even go so far as to say that those like the one who took Dr. Tiller's life, are in line with domestic terrorists, and should be prosecuted as such, on top of the murder charges. They are no different than the Taliban who assume that all should believe as they do, regarding women, religion, politics, etc. and they will kill those who oppose them.

Those such as Randall Terry and Bill O'Reilly, and others who would incite these radicals by labeling Dr's such as Dr. Tiller as "mass murderers" or "evil men" or anything similar should also have some accountability for their inciting violence that leads to someone else's murder.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Dr. Tiller's wife, daughter and family, as well as the congregation who were so traumatized yesterday morning, while practicing their faith. I give thanks that Justice is in the hands of God, and that the murderer of Dr. Terry is in custody to face his own justice. I do however hope that he is met by more grace than he gave to Dr. Terry.

This week, I did a burial at sea for a friend's mom. It was a beautiful experience, and my first time of doing this kind of service. My friend's mom, was a declared athiest. Something that greatly disturbed her daughter, as well as her sisters. But Lois grew up in a Christian Fundamentalist home, and grew weary of the rigidity. Lois was a creative person, an artist, designer, and the strict confines of her home, didn't sit right with her spirit. She was also a nurse, and like doubting Thomas, she apparently needed the tangible proof, of a scientist' mind to believe. Jesus met Thomas where he was, and gave him the tangible proof. He allowed him to touch his hands and his side, and Thomas believed. I believe Jesus met Lois in her last days as well, and met her in her place of need. So, we poured her ashes into the ocean, and we dropped rose buds and pedals in the water to bless her as well. She is at peace.

Ironically, the next day I had a conversation with a relative of one of my hospice patient who is a fundamentalist. Before I could say good afternoon, she wanted to know if I was saved, when it happened, and if it was according to some particular scriptures. She barely let me answer her questions before she added another question to her exam. But when she finally listened, she declared me having passed her test. I wanted to tell her that it isn't her that is giving the test or the grade, and that I really didn't need her approval. I wanted to tell her that rather than one declared time of salvation, I in fact have been saved many times over. Each and every time I come to a crossroads in life and in my spiritual journey, and I choose to follow the way of the cross, I am saved. I am born again, each and every time I choose to follow, or when I surrender another aspect of my flawed nature, to choose new birth. It isn't a test, it is a relationship.

She declared to me that all Muslims are going to hell, and that she can see their relatives in Hell just crying and begging for someone to tell their living relatives the truth. I wanted to ask her how she knows this particular truth.

I understood why the Lois' of the world become "athiests" when they run up against people like this patient's niece. I am a Christian, and have been since I was born, and baptized, and as I have chosen to follow Christ at the many different stages of my life. And I resented being put on the spot, like my entire life of relationship with Christ was somehow on the block to be judged by her. I wanted to ask her when God had died and left her to make the decisions. And I remembered the important words of St. Francis of Assisi who said, "Preach the gospel. Use words if necessary." I remembered the teachings of my reformed tradition that reminds us it is not about us, and our actions before God but about God's initiation in our lives. It is always God who initiates relationship with us. It is God who chooses us. It is God who loved us first. It is God that I answer to.

So, I kept my mouth shut, and didn't say all the stuff I wanted to say, because, this week in Lent, I am remembering Jesus, being tested by others as well, and being accused of things he didn't do and he remained silent. There are times when remaining silent is the best, because they don't really want to hear what you have to say anyway, and we really don't have to answer to the legalists anyway. So, I remained silent, and I let her know I would pray for her and her aunt, and when I hung up, I silently prayed that her aunt might pass into a place of peace before her niece arrives, for her own sake. I know, that isn't the most spiritually righteous prayer I could have prayed, but it was honest.

More Than A Teacher

This last week my dad, a retired instrumental music teacher, was contacted by two sisters who were ex students of his over 25 years ago. These girls played in the band, but were also being abused at home. One of the girls said, "I would come into class with a heavy heart, and leave singing the song we had been playing." When my dad learned of the abuse, he did as he was supposed to, and reported it to the school counselors. Their mother denied that it was happening, but my dad knew it was true. He allowed them to stay in the band room after school to help out, (with other students there as well), and he just talked to them, counseled them, and taught them about life.

The two girls have been trying to find him for many years and found him on Facebook. They wrote thank you's and told him that he was so much more than a teacher, but a father figure, and a model of a Christian man. He never did the hard sell on his faith. He just lived it. And often had kids ask, "Are you a Christian?" When he said, "Yes" they would say, "I thought so."

There is a song by Dan Fogelberg, called "The Leader of the Band." It was about Fogelberg's own father, who was a cabinet maker's son, but chose the route of being a musician for himself. A line in that song says, "He had a gentle means of sculpting souls, that took me years to understand." It describes dad thoroughly. He also was a cabinet maker's son.

When these girls contacted dad, and thanked him profusely about all the things that he was to them, he just read it with tears in his eyes, and said, "I don't know what I really did. You just never know."

So I am grateful for a man, who I have the gracious gift of having for a father. Who saw teaching as so much more than what he taught in the classroom, and who made a huge difference, not only in his student's lives but in my own.

Lenten Journey

Today, Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Lenten season of the Christian Church. Lent is to be a penitential season, whereby the Christian believer begins the journey toward the cross with Jesus. It is meant to be a time of self reflection and penitence/repentance. As children, we were always asking each other "what are you giving up for Lent?" It was usually candy or gum or something, and was only done until Easter Sunday when whatever we "gave up" was resumed, most often with a vengeance.

Tonight, at our service we were encouraged to do that which brings us closer to God, and closer to our neighbor, in love. We were reminded that the religious leaders of Jesus' day had built their whole lives and religious practice around a misunderstanding of God. The question was asked, "Don't you wish they could have given up what they were doing wrong?" I suppose that is the question we must all ask ourselves as well. Where do we have misunderstandings of God, and how do those misunderstandings direct how we express our faith. Am I able to give up those misunderstandings of God, if it means that I would move in a newer and better direction of loving God and neighbor. I would surely hope so.

So, I am hoping to move on that journey towards examining my understanding of God and how I might love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and love my neighbor as myself.

Statements of Faith

One of the most important aspects of our spiritual journey is the process we go through to define what it is we believe and why. Added to that, how do those beliefs live out in our daily lives? I serve on a committee for our denomination to guide the seminarians through the process toward ordination. Part of their process is their seminary courses, and the completion of specific courses that will enhance their lives as pastors, including a specific understanding of who we are as those within our particular denomination. So, there are two different times when the candidate is asked to write a statement of faith: when they are moving from inquirer to candidate, and also when they are having their final assessment. Their final statement of faith, will hopefully be a clear description of what the candidate believes about God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, the Sacraments, Scripture, the Church, and eschatology. But, the true test is how can the candidate write this statement, touching on all the main points, and yet not have their statement come out sounding the same as everyone elses. This final statement of faith, they defend on the floor of Presbytery, being examined by the Pastors and elders of the Presbytery.

It is a good exercise to write a statement of faith. To really take the time to sort out, what we believe, to express who we are, and take the time to examine our own hearts. It is important for us to have a faith statement that reflects our own heart, and not only what we have been told throughout our earlier lives. What I love about the exercise, having done quite a few in the last 25 years, is how they change. What I may have expressed while still in seminary, I may not say today, or at least not in the same words. I might emphasize different aspects of God now that I have gleaned from new life experiences, that caused new questions to come to the surface and others to be answered.

What I can honestly say, is the older I get, the more I am comfortable with mystery. I used to feel that I had to have very definite answers, as if neglecting to have the answers would somehow be a reflection of weak faith. Not anymore! Now I am very comfortable to say that I don't have all the answers and that is ok. In fact, I would say to have the inclination that we could have all the answers is extremely naive, and reveals a very small God. I now feel that as each day goes by, I develop more questions. But as I live with the unanswered questions, tucked down in my heart somewhere, as with Mary, "who pondered these things in her heart" that I eventually come to a place of deeper understanding, and a constant movement toward spiritual maturity.

There are those who take a more literal approach to life in general. They are ones who need to have the answers. For these individuals most of life is pretty black and white, and the presentation of another belief from outside of themselves or their faith community causes deep fear. Pronouncements are made, and the limits of the box they choose to live in, are put in place, but by that very process, limits God, and the universe. When life reveals the gray areas that challenge those beliefs, they often realize that their faith was more like a house of cards, and it comes tumbling down. Or those who challenge their beliefs, are attacked in anger.

But then, on the other end of the spectrum, there are others who are so open, and broad in thought, that they have no anchor. They believe in so much they don't really believe in anything at all.

Both extremes are dangerous. We all have to find a landing point. Some of that comes with age and experience; some would call that wisdom. But I like the concept of a spiritual journey. It has a beginning and a destination, and their are stopping places along the way. It is a constant moving, hopefully never static, and the scenery changes. As we continue moving forward; and as we stop for awhile along the way, in some places longer than others, we discover who we truly are, who we were created to be; what our passions are and our gifts. We also discover the things about ourselves where we need healing, and a deeper understanding. But if we never stop asking the questions, and we realize that life is very much on a continuum, entrusting ourselves to God who holds us and reminds us we are loved, we will arrive at that final destination in tact. And hopefully filled with a deep sense of knowing and being known.