Moved to Tears
There are times in one's life when we are just mindful that we are in the presence of a very profound person. I had that experience yesterday. I was sitting in a woman's home, who is dying of cancer. She is an Holocaust Survivor, from Auschwitz. It seems that each time I speak to her I am keenly aware that this woman has so much wisdom, and can teach me far more than I can ever bring to her.
But yesterday, while speaking to her about our concern for her living alone as she weakens, she began talking about her thought process, that includes so much of her philosophy of life. I was suddenly aware that there were tears streaming down my cheeks, and believe me, the tears were as much a surprise to me as the team I was with. Unfortunately, the nurse mentioned it to the patient, which she wouldn't have been aware of, since she can hardly see as well. I didn't want the patient to feel burdened by my tears. She told me not to cry. I told her there are many reasons for tears; some for sadness or anger, and some just being touched by a heart moving incident, and others are being aware of the gift we have received by being in the presence of a very special person. I told her the latter, was the reason for my tears.
This woman has experienced the horrors of life that go so far beyond our imaginations, and yet she survived, not only physically, but spiritually. She came out, not as a bitter person, but an extremely compassionate person. She worked with extremely disabled children for over 30 years, and said if God were ever to give her another chance at life, she would do it again.
She has learned the wisdom of taking one day at a time, and making the necessary decisions when the time comes that they are needed. She has the courage to make those necessary decisions when they are needed, however difficult they may be.
She understands the wisdom in moving on after a traumatic experience and not allowing bitterness or anger to consume her. Thus, she took her trauma of the Holocaust, and moved on to give back, to make her life one of creative and loving response, as opposed to bitterness and depression. She is a glass half full kind of person.
She knows the wisdom and the ultimate value of sacrificial love. She can put aside her own desires if she knows that her desire would be detrimental to another.
She values honesty, and integrity, and the need to trust that someone is being truthful with her, no matter how difficult that information might be.
And because so much of what we are concerned about is making sure she is safe and comfortable, she is making decisions for herself to ensure that she will die in comfort and with dignity. And she will, because of her inner strength, her knowledge of herself, and her deep spirituality.
And so I was moved to tears, out of pure awe of someone who had experienced such horror and yet won, because she didn't allow it to kill her spirit. I was moved to tears, out of the realization that I have had the privilege of knowing this woman who has made all of our lives better. I will learn from her for many years to come.
3 Comments:
It must be hard not to cry more often. But sometimes tears are the ultimate form of respect for a person and their story. Thanks for sharing.
There are just some people that touch us deeper than we are prepared for. This woman is particularly special. And what is sad is her daughter finds it too difficult to hear so much of her wisdom that would help her so much with the pain in her own life. It is rare that I would shed tears in front of the patient, but I often find myself wiping tears away in the privacy of my car, or in the office. It usually is a key to their touching something within me or my own experience that I need to pay attention to.
This patient died on Friday, and her graveside was yesterday. She is at peace, but more than that, she has had a profound impact on many peoples' lives. She will be missed, but her legacy lives on.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home