A Mother's Wish

One of my patients died this last Sat. She had three children, all of whom were adopted. She was the glue that held her family together, and as often happens in families, the siblings weren't getting along too well. One daughter, who was a nurse, single and lived closest to her mom, was the primary caregiver, at great sacrifice to herself. The other two children lived on opposite ends of the state, and came in as often as possible, to help out and provide care.

This Mother's greatest wish was that she wanted her children to continue to be a family after she died. It was very important to her. She held on for awhile longer than expected to see if they would come together. Sat. morning, the two sisters called their brother at his home and said he should probably come up as it was getting close. He got in his car right away and drove up to his mom's home. Our patient had been told that he was on his way. 30 minutes after he arrived, this mom looked up at her three children who were all standing there together, with their arms around each other, and she took her last breath. Her wish had been granted.

When I arrived, I had a long conversation with her son who relayed that he had not been told of his adoption until he was an adult. He learned about it while dealing with his father's estate, and found the adoption papers for each of the children. Although it was difficult to learn about it that way, he discussed it with his mom, and had some issues of anger and betrayal that he had to work through. But then, he searched for his natural mom, who he learned was an alcoholic and that he was the eldest of 10 children, all of whom had drug and alcohol issues. He stood in awe at how he had been so blessed, completely by grace, to have been removed from that family and raised in his family where he had many opportunities, and a healthy and happy life. The glue that had brought this family together in the first place, by adoption, had the fear that at her passing, they would separate, saw, and most importantly, her children saw, that there was so much more to being a family than genetics. A Mother's wish was granted.

The gift that this son had, was that he could see the providence in his being adopted, and see that it was by grace that he had been plucked from one family and placed in another. And deep within his soul he had a sense of belonging.

Truly a gift of grace.

Susan